Tuesday, July 30, 2013

No Toquen Nada

Let me give you some advise about the tropics.  Don't f***ing touch anything. It's the rainforest.  The snakes will be happy to kill you.  There are countless eyelash vipers hiding in the vegetation waiting for an excuse to take down a Gringo.  Don't heedlessly put your hand on any branch you want.  Jabba the Hutt®©™over here (below) will create a burning sensation on your skin that will cause even the manliest amongst us to retire from all things natural and nocturnal, all the while whimpering like a small child.
Let's be honest.  I have no idea what this is.  It's a poisonous moth.  That's all I can tell you.  No lo toquen.
Boas are non-venemous but their mouths are filthy places filled with flesh-eating bacteria.  Don't touch that unless you are trained in the arts of snake grabbing or are a reckless gringo like me.
Don't go touching frogs all willy-nilly.  Are you a tourist gringo or a naturalist?  It is okay to touch a frog if you do not have bug repellent on your hands.  If you have repellent or residuals from a venemous frog on your hand it's best not to even look at a frog, but if you must touch (I can rarely resist the urge myself), then "wash" your hands with some moist rainforest soil.  Oh, but there are parasites in that too, one species of which finds its home under your fingernails! Gross.
What I'm trying to say is, no toquen nada.  Don't touch anything.  Stinging plants, venomous animals, and friendly parasites are lurking behind every corner.  Having said that.  You're in the rainforest.  Have a blast.  I will end with this mediocre to slightly better than average photo of a Mangrove Swallow in pre-basic molt, ridding itself of disgusting formative plumage.  I feel like a real jerk for not doing bird things for a while, so here is a common bird for good measure.  Okay it is a pretty good photo...

Hasta luego folks,


  1. Nice little photo essay there. Keep up the good work. - Omega 378

  2. Also don't follow through on looking at all the nice sparkly eye shine on the ground at night either. Or else you'll find yourself face to face with a Phonuetria sp. (quite venomous little spider, so much so I remember the genus). Then you'll look around and realize that there are hundreds of such things all around you. Nice essay.

  3. Oh man, even more reason for me to go there. =D Fan-friggin-tastic photos, bud! Jealous as always...